Wonder What Men REALLY Think?

Men like to complain about the way women word things and neglect to say what's really on their minds. Did you ever wonder if you could crack the guy code when it comes to their choices in vocabulary, questions, and statements? I've put together a few translations for as to what men are REALLY trying to say during our conversations with them. Pay attention to as well as get a laugh out of them.

She'd be hot if she dressed sexier.
Translation: I'd pay more attention to her if she wore something that was about five to eight years out of style, at least three sizes too small, or appears to have been ripped off of the back of a twelve year old.

I like a girl with a little meat on her bones.
Translation: I can stand a bit of ass and hips and will totally fuck a fat chick if I'm drunk enough.

I don't want to be tied down. I like variety.
Translation: I'm a total slut. I don't mind a little dick now and then, either.

What's goin on, bro? Where's your other half?
Translation: I will totally try to fuck your girlfriend.

(If repeated before or after sex) Dude, I'm so drunk!
Translation: I am going to deny even knowing your name if anyone finds out that we did it.

You're cute.
Translation: You aren't attractive enough to be called hot, but I'll still stab it if you let me.

You have beautiful eyes.
Translation: You have beautiful nipples.

Lesbians are hot, fags are disgusting!
Translation: I am terrified I'll be turned on by a guy at some point in my life.

I only date younger women.
Translation: I only date girls that are dumb enough to be oblivious to how much of a lying prick I am and once they wise up I dump them and cry like a baby while jacking off and repeating their name.

I like you better without makeup, honey.
Translation: I feel safer when you don't wear makeup because fewer guys pay attention to you.

Is my penis small?
Translation: I know my penis isn't small and love to hear about how huge it is.

I'm sorry.
Translation: Fuck! I should have covered my tracks better.

That girl looks like a total slut.
Translation: I hope that girl is a slut because I wish I could bang her.

I'm afraid to have sex with you while you're pregnant...it might hurt the baby.
Translation: I'm not touching you until your stictches are healed because you're a disgusting cow.