Take advice from fuckups.they're the only ones that can tell you about the bottom & how to avoid it


Tuesday, February 23, 2010

My Last REAL Post to Myspace...LOL

I'm lonely and bored. That's why I visit social networking sites. I like to look at pretty girls, read interesting blogs, and listen to music on here. I most recently joined facebook, but it isn't like myspace in the respect that I can find people that I don't really know, discover our interests, and maybe become friends. I actually owe myspace for introducing me to a couple of people that I ended up being really close to and would have probably ended up dead without. But, dude...I'm seriously about to delete a bunch of people. I added people to myspace and facebook that I went to school with uh, cos I was nosy, and, admittedly wanted a high number of "friends". Facebook pretty much makes it difficult to find anyone else BESIDES former classmates and acquaintances. I'm really noticing, though, that there was a reason why these people weren't in my life when I joined these sites, and it's because they're either assholes or just simply dull.
Twitter is what really ruined these places. Ever since Twitter shot out of the bowels of satan, all of these sites now feel the need to jump on the status bandwagon, and the whole status thing does nothing but show me what boring, mind-numbing, and excrutiatingly stupid things that people think on a moment to moment basis are now served up several times a day. For example-"I just got done taking out the trash, I gotta drop off Gogo at the dentist, then I'm off to pottery class!" WHO REALLY GIVES A FLYING FUCK? I mean, come on, people. Would it really take that much effort, since you are showing this shit to the world, to say something a bit more profound, intriguing, witty or poetic? Not only do I have to be informed about the meaningless, mundane tasks people are accomplishing in a totally non-entertaining way, but I also have to have how much better other people's lives are rubbed into my face. Then, of course there are the people that have to brag about shit that either they or their spouses buy-"We're out shopping for our new boat today!"..."I got a car for my birthday"...yadda yadda yadda...I can understand it when people post about shit that sucks because they're more than likely seeking supportful and caring words from their peers and it seems to me that when all people can blab about is how fabulous everything is going for them, then they're only doing it to dangle it in other people's faces like kids on the playground the first day back to school after Christmas vacation.
I've also had to deal with this in the Blogging community (jesus, "blogging community"?-I'm a total douche). People have entire blogs centered around their fucking centerpieces at their babyshower, or stupid "travel logs", and shit like, totally dedicated to shit NOBODY that has any interesting qualities to them whatsoever would give a shit about. People spend money on these things. They're chock full of professional photography taken with ridiculously expensive cameras, intricate templates for headers are used that require actual software to produce, and it's fucking ridiculous! Look, if you're an intelligent and artistic person, you'll get what I'm saying by this, if you're not, then fuck off, man, cos I really have no use for dumb people in my life anymore...
your job
your grades
your car
your wedding
how lovely the catering was at your anniversary party
your kids' boogers or the cute shit that they say or do
your vacation
the shitty movie you just spent fifty bucks on watching
your diet
your remodelling project
your recent purchases
your tickets to a sporting event
your Cinco De Mayo party full of white people and white people food
your church yard sale
your bake sale
....you get the point...
Oh, and you people that are trying to act like you're all a bunch of suburbanite soccermoms when you live in rural southern Illinois, give it a rest. That life is a terrible one, and don't try to pride yourself in an attempt to immulate those kind of personality-laden fuckholes. I'd rather hear about trailer park wars and babymamma drama. At least make it seem like there's some substance to your life besides the shit you have and what you did to get it...
unless you sucked a dick for a six pack...
cos that would at least be entertaining.


  1. oh, and thank you to mister Dan who inspired me to write this a while back...kudos buddy.

  2. Well, you know...:-? The irony is that, most of the World's population...really does care about your job, your grades, etc, they just don't know you exist as a person yet. :-? Thus, we have Big Brother and other reality shows, which are the most viewed programmes in the World (well, maybe except for the news). So people actually do care. :D Although you are right, the reality show audience can't really count as people, since they're soooo nosy (and I'm not taking about your average "I'msoboredI'mgoingtowatchthisuntilsomethingbettercomesup"). :-?

  3. Hahaha...excellent stuff Ms Eyeliner, especially doffing your cap to me. But you have taken it to a new degree.
    You had me cackling away. I'm going to click on the 'Next Blog' button and what's the bet some damn whitebread family pops out celebrating ad nauseum about how little Timmy lost his first tooth and Hannah drew a picture of the family car that was 'oh so cute'.
    Grrr...I better get my valium script filled.