Tuesday, February 9, 2010
I'm A Terrible Person
So this girl has been posting youtube videos of herself talking about how suicidal she is. She's been posting them for about two years now. I finally left her a comment on one of them. You know what I told her? I told her that if her depression is that bad that it's only going to get worse as she grows older, especially if she has no artistic outlet to find solace in. I said that if she's really tried everything, i.e. counseling, medications, etc., that there really probably is nothing left for her to do. Major depression fucking sucks, and psychotropic medications turn you into a zombie or give you violent mood swings. I had one anti depressant that I was on that worked okay, but I always felt washed over and like I was walking in a fog. Not only did it just generally make me feel "weird", I couldn't write, draw, or even jack off while I was on the shit. What's the fucking point of living that way if you can't even cum? It also ruined sex for me. It almost felt like someone might as well have been shoving their dick into my armpit. It was awful. I really believe there are people with incessant emotional and mental pain and that there is nothing in the world that can fix it. Illegal drugs can make you feel good, expressing yourself through some avenue of artistry can help, and food can give some comfort, but besides that, the pain never goes away. As age changes, bitterness grows, which inevitably only pushes one deeper into their own thoughts and despair. I do believe that for some, it is easier to die.
Posted by MainliningEyeliner at 5:25 PM